The Doctors: Anuradha Rao, 56, & Suresh Rao, 62
Married: 33 years

For a doctor, patients come first; family ties are a close second. That’s always been the understanding between ophthalmologist Anuradha and paediatric heart surgeon Suresh Rao, although she did notice when Suresh forgot her birthday in the early years. Over the past 33 years, the doctors Rao have moved from city to city, and country to country, before finally settling in Mumbai, where they both work on the same floor at Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital.

When they first met, both were medical students. They continued studying—he in Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala, and she in Manipal, Karnataka—for almost five years after they married. They started a family in Chennai and later moved to Kochi to establish their own departments at the Amrita Institute of Medial Sciences. Through all this displacement and mismatched timings (sometimes they wouldn’t see each other for days), Suresh says Anuradha has brought stability to their family, a quality he considers on a par with her wonderful North Karnataka cuisine.

For her part, Anuradha was deeply influenced by his dedication to work. When she took a sabbatical to bring up their children, she accompanied Suresh overseas. But, in a few years, she was raring to get back into practice! “The biggest challenge has been the long periods of separation,” she says. “But, early on, we both decided our common goal would be to provide a stable home for our children.” With an ophthalmologist daughter and engineer son, it’s safe to say that goal has been achieved. “Initially, we used to fight about silly things, but we’ve long since realised there is more to life than the small things. Now we enjoy each other’s company, birthdays and all!” laughs Suresh.

WITH OR WITHOUT YOU

 
He says: She has brought me a sense of purpose and borne me two wonderful children who have lit up our lives. She has created a loving home to go back to after a demanding day. She did that with grace and let me pursue my profession seamlessly.

She says: He has given me love, affection, warmth and comfort—literally everything that makes my life beautiful.

ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER

 
He says: After fulfilling our professional and parental roles, we give each other space to pursue things dear to the heart. We recognise we are individuals with different tastes and have accepted each other as a full package.

She says: I like to have my own professional and personal identity. My one condition on getting married was to continue studying, which he not only supported but was also very happy with.

CONVERGENCE & DIVERGENCE

 
He says: She likes art; I don’t understand it. She likes shopping; I can put up with it to a point. She bargains for peanuts; I think it is a worthless pursuit, particularly for vegetables, clothes, etc! But we are in unison when it comes to the kids, excelling in professional matters, saving for a rainy day and living ethically. In matters of the home, she is the home minister and I am the external affairs minister. In matters of finance, we both have veto powers.

She says: On the rare occasions when we have differences of opinion, they get sorted out with time. We simply don’t have the time to fight with each other!

FUEL TO THE FIRE

 
He says: We celebrate birthdays and never miss a celebration of our wedding anniversary. We make up quickly after a heated disagreement (I am usually the one who makes up!). A quick getaway—our medical conferences in India and overseas provide this—is a bonus.

She says: We make the most of the little time we get to spend with each other.

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH

 
He says: Love, commitment, trust and mutual respect supersede everything. This is what life has taught us both.

She says: It is he who breaks the ice—most of the time!

—Natasha Rego

Photo: Haresh Patel
Featured in Harmony — Celebrate Age Magazine
February 2017

 
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