The Social workers: Madhuri Pawar, 69, and Madhukar Pawar, 75
Married: 48 years

First teaching and then social work were always on the cards for Madhukar Pawar. But his heart really took wing only when his 21 year-old bride Madhuri walked into his life. Madhukar, 25 years old then, caught a glimpse of her only once before they tied the knot. But that was not a hindrance to their relationship. Madhuri was aware of Madhukar’s strong urge to carry out social work and has been his support system ever since.

Across the decades, the duo has moved from Ratnagiri, where Madhukar was a professor and Madhuri a teacher, to finally settling down in a quaint house in Pune. And the rollercoaster journey has been as memorable as it has been happy and fulfilling. “I always wanted to marry someone who was well educated and her profile fit the bill,” says Madhukar, gazing in her direction. “Is that the only reason? Are you being completely honest?” laughs Madhuri.

To better their individual careers, both Madhuri and Madhukar took competitive exams at regular intervals, even after having two children. This was possible only because they engaged in some pretty serious role-reversal during those years. She became his mainstay while he was away from home preparing for these tests; he too juggled daily chores every time she left home to pursue a higher education.

Now campaigning for pensioners in Pune, the Pawars are founding members of the Sawangadi Jyestha Nagarik Sangha. And while Madhukar is president of the Association of Senior Citizens Organisations (ASCOP), Pune, Madhuri has launched a women’s wing under ASCOP, for retired women. “We love helping people,” says Madhukar. “And senior citizens, in particular, need it.”

WITH OR WITHOUT YOU

 
He says: Where do I start? She has been so understanding with all my social work for such a long time. After a long day of teaching, she would enter our home, only to see me surrounded by members of the social organisations I have been a part of. She would immediately serve everyone delicious meals and encourage me to never discontinue social service. My son became an engineer and daughter a principal; all credit for that goes to my wife for raising them so well.

She says: I always wanted to pursue a BA and a BEd, and even after I turned 40, he gave me the right push to fulfil my dreams. He never once told me to stop learning. In fact, it was he who motivated me to grow professionally.

THERE FOR EACH OTHER

 
He says: Even after fulfilling our parental roles, she has not once complained about me taking time out from my work for her. She knows I am always there for her.

She says: Even now, when I take off to teach or to organise programmes for ASCOP, he is sensitive about it.

CONVERGENCE & DIVERGENCE

 
He says: We never fight, nor will we in future. When you think about it, we have never really argued about anything. We have taken all our crucial decisions mutually.

She says: We consult each other before taking big or small decisions. Our love for social work has been the greatest reason for our strong bond.

FUEL TO THE FIRE

 
He says: The spark in our relationship has not wavered even once.

She says: That’s true!

A MATTER OF TRUST

 
He says: I was very popular as a professor, and always surrounded by female students during outings. She never felt suspicious even once. The trust has been incredible.

She says: There was no need to be suspicious about anything. I trust him blindly even today.

—Prutha Bhosle

Photo: Ravindra Joshi
Featured in Harmony — Celebrate Age Magazine
February 2017

 
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