To me, this bell metal vaarpu, which weighs about 80 kg and is at least 120 years old, is an enduring reminder of my paternal grandmother Aleyamma Abraham. I remember the balmy afternoons in our ancestral home in Thiruvella in southern Kerala, when she would lean over this utensil, stirring an assortment of herbs into boiling coconut oil and making unguents, potions and concoctions. Dressed in her starched chatteyum mundu (blouse and sarong), she always appeared to be every inch the traditional Malayali Christian woman. No one would have imagined she was a science graduate who could speak impeccable English!

As a child, I followed her like a shadow. When we went to church every Sunday, I was the one chosen to carry her lacy veil. Once while unfolding it, it brushed against a thorny bush and ended up with a ghastly tear. When, in my anguish, I told our family attendant to chop off the bush, she hauled me onto her lap and said, “You will find many thorny shrubs in life. Leave them alone; just keep your distance.” In her simple words, she taught me to stay away from negative people instead of spending my energy fighting them.

Aleyamma Abraham died in 2002, at the age of 90. Her vaarpu was handed over to me by my father a decade ago. Just like her, it is solid in substance and subtle in its shine. As long as I have this, I know my grandmother and her luminous wisdom continue to walk by my side.

—Abraham Marett, 49, Bengaluru

Featured in Harmony — Celebrate Age Magazine
September 2017

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