I have had a very passionate relationship with music ever since I was a child. It has been a long and eventful journey with the craft, one that resulted in me acquiring a PhD in music in my 60s.

My love for music started to develop at the age of two. My great-grandfather in Meerut, where I was born, used to compose verses and songs and would have an almost emotional reaction to the notes! We had a gramophone at home and we listened to a lot of Carnatic music at home. By the time I was three, I began to identify some ragas and began to sing along. On my fourth birthday, an aunt gifted me a harmonium and my sister and I would play nursery rhymes on it. I attended my first music concert when I was four or five years old. Even our games were musical; we used to hum while playing!

My sister and I were formally trained in music by a tutor. Ten years later, I went to college but my training continued. The fact is, as Tamil Brahmins, women were not allowed to work and music was kept within the house. But I was part of a group in college that played the veena, sarod and violin and performed at college functions.

I married into an orthodox family and music was snuffed out of my life. I sold my tanpura and we were not even allowed to listen to music. My husband was a bureaucrat and, in 1955, we moved to Netaji Nagar in New Delhi, where the South Indian ladies had formed a Friday music group. They had the same story—their talent had been suppressed. We began to meet, sing and hold programmes. We sang exclusively for friends and family.

In 1975, we were transferred back to Chennai and I learnt the veena at a music academy there. My turning point came after we returned to Delhi, where, at a wedding, a lady told me about the Sangeet Shiromani class at Delhi University. This was my first really immersive experience with music and I felt elated.

I completed the two-year course in Carnatic music and thought I was done—that the diploma was enough. But, with support from my daughter and daughter-in-law, I pursued a master’s degree. In 1982, my youngest son Sanjay and I were both conferred gold medals at the same convocation: he for economics and I for music!

Then I did my MPhil and also enrolled for PhD studies. It was a very challenging time. For one, my husband was unwell and, two, my guide retired and moved to Chennai. We also moved to Cambridge in the UK for a year as my husband had been offered a position there as professor.

There were many times when I felt like giving up but I had the wholehearted support of my family; my daughter-in-law even helped me with notes and encouraged me to complete my thesis. My husband had bypass surgery and was in hospital when I got the call for my viva. The odds had definitely been stacked against me! However, I took the viva and, at the age of 63, I received my PhD degree.

I am 85 years old now and I spend a lot of time reading and listening to music. For many decades, something had been propelling me forward and I was consumed by music. Having fulfilled every goal I had been given, I now feel a sense of closure and enjoy music in a very different, more mellow way. And thus my journey with music continues.

—Sulochana Subrahmanyam, New Delhi

Photo: Himanshu Kumar
Featured in Harmony — Celebrate Age Magazine
January 2018